Something new
Hi everyone! During the last few weeks between my latest blog post and this one, a whole number of things have changed in my life. I've moved to another country (!), moved into student accommodation, bought myself a whole lot of dishes and cooking supplies, learned what a pain it is when your fridge doesn't work and your milk goes bad, and probably most importantly of all I've met a lot of new people.
In my last post I wrote about the awful limbo I felt I was stuck in. Right now, writing this in my bed (though feeling a bit ill), I feel like the limbo was worth it. Having nothing to do for a month was just preparing me for having EVERYTHING to do in one week. There are so many people to meet, so many TV-shows and movies to talk about, so many people from other countries teaching me the naughty words in their native language.
I'm so thankful to everyone who has come up and talked to me, or even just answered when I've said something to them. The good thing about going to university is that ideally no one there really knows you. I'm allowed to build myself up again, into who I feel I am at this point, not being limited by the concepts and thoughts my friends back at home viewed me through. Don't get me wrong I still love everyone from back home and I haven't gone through any giant transformation, I just find it freeing to be able to step out of some boxes that have formed around me.
I flew into Edinburgh on Friday the 4th of September. Its only been a week and yet I feel like I've been here for at least two weeks. I've made a crazy amount of friends (many of which share my experience of coming from another country), and also had the joy of trying to decipher the accent of my native scottish friends. I'm getting quite good at it now, and find myself using similar sayings and pronunciations once in a while without even realizing it. Its all very new and exciting.
One of my biggest worries was not finding like-minded people. People passionate about the same things, people who were interested in the same movies and bands. People who didn't laugh or snort or roll their eyes at the words "social justice." Now I see that worry was for nothing. On my FIRST night I met a whole bunch of cool people who agreed with me on feminism and LGBT rights but also on specific TV-shows and thrift shopping. Through those first people I've made loads of more friends and so far it doesn't seem like any of them have tired of me. My constant babbling and "I'm Finnish but the accent is Canadian"-explanations, my "Captain America is my favorite Avenger"-rants. And for that I'm really thankful. Its really easy to walk into a flat party or just into a room with people you don't know, and feel really self-conscious of how you look and how you sound and what impression you're giving people. I've tried to let myself let go of those thoughts and just concentrate my mind outwards. Think about the people I'm talking to, asking them questions and follow-up questions and just getting to know them. When I do that I forget to think about myself. Sure, then there's a lull in conversation and I do a little panicky "oh god why did i say that now its quiet and everyone thinks im weird"-thought process, but more often than not some other person starts a conversation or someone plays a song I like and those thoughts are swept away again.
So far I like university. Fair enough, I've not actually been to any real lessons yet. I had a quick introduction lesson on Wednesday but my actual course starts on Monday the 14th, so I've received a whole week to get to know people and my campus and my flat. I've discovered the joy that is going shopping for a weeks worth of groceries and then ending up carrying way too many heavy bags back to the university for a 30 minute walk. I've seen guys my age come into a room wearing a kilt and totally rocking it. I'm really liking the social aspects of university so far.
The other side to being independent is the boring one, which is taking care of yourself. Yeah, I've been pretty good at that in the past but now, as a pile of clothing beside my bed gets higher and higher everyday I realize that there was a reason as to why my parents told me to clean my room. Now that there is no voice telling me to do it, the only thing driving me to keep my room clean is the fact that people might visit me and I don't want them to trip over my dirty socks and bags on the floor. Cooking for myself EVERY DAY is not something I'm used to either. Sure, I can cook and bake but sometimes when you come back to your dorm after a long tiring trip to IKEA you just don't feel like cooking a fancy meal and end up eating a few toaster waffles and a smoothie and hoping it will keep you not-hungry for at least a few hours. My flat has had trouble with the fridge lately, because it hasn't been working for the past few days and no one has come to fix it yet. A few days ago I poured milk into my cereal and it had white bits in it. I had to put my eggs in a glass of water to see if they were still good. Its tough enough paying for my own food, but then something basic that I took for granted like a fridge working doesn't work and half of it goes to waste.
That fridge and I have a problem. First, when I turned it on, it got so cold during the night that when I woke up and wanted to have cereal my milk was slushy and the stuff in the fridge was frozen. Now it doesn't work at all. But really, if my fridge not working is the biggest issue I encounter at university I'll be glad about it.
To my friends and family at home, I'm sorry for not talking to all of you yet. I've been thrown into a whirlwind of everything happening too much and I'm just trying to get a rhythm going. After I settle properly I'll gladly answer any questions you have and send you pictures of my dorm room etc.
I don't think this post had any other point besides less-than-eloquently updating people back home on how I'm doing at university so far. I'm trying to start good habits such as writing a bit in my journal every day, and keeping all my receipts. So far I've made it safely to Edinburgh and back whenever I've used the train to get there. Besides my voice being almost gone all is well.
Thanks for taking the time to read this babbling update!
-Becks
P.S. Jessica, Sarah and Sam: I now realize just how much I got to boss you around and how much you did stuff for me. Now when I want some milk or a cookie or for someone to bring me my laptop charger there is no one to do it but me. I'm looking forward to coming home for Christmas and sitting on the couch while you make tea for me.
In my last post I wrote about the awful limbo I felt I was stuck in. Right now, writing this in my bed (though feeling a bit ill), I feel like the limbo was worth it. Having nothing to do for a month was just preparing me for having EVERYTHING to do in one week. There are so many people to meet, so many TV-shows and movies to talk about, so many people from other countries teaching me the naughty words in their native language.
I'm so thankful to everyone who has come up and talked to me, or even just answered when I've said something to them. The good thing about going to university is that ideally no one there really knows you. I'm allowed to build myself up again, into who I feel I am at this point, not being limited by the concepts and thoughts my friends back at home viewed me through. Don't get me wrong I still love everyone from back home and I haven't gone through any giant transformation, I just find it freeing to be able to step out of some boxes that have formed around me.
I flew into Edinburgh on Friday the 4th of September. Its only been a week and yet I feel like I've been here for at least two weeks. I've made a crazy amount of friends (many of which share my experience of coming from another country), and also had the joy of trying to decipher the accent of my native scottish friends. I'm getting quite good at it now, and find myself using similar sayings and pronunciations once in a while without even realizing it. Its all very new and exciting.
One of my biggest worries was not finding like-minded people. People passionate about the same things, people who were interested in the same movies and bands. People who didn't laugh or snort or roll their eyes at the words "social justice." Now I see that worry was for nothing. On my FIRST night I met a whole bunch of cool people who agreed with me on feminism and LGBT rights but also on specific TV-shows and thrift shopping. Through those first people I've made loads of more friends and so far it doesn't seem like any of them have tired of me. My constant babbling and "I'm Finnish but the accent is Canadian"-explanations, my "Captain America is my favorite Avenger"-rants. And for that I'm really thankful. Its really easy to walk into a flat party or just into a room with people you don't know, and feel really self-conscious of how you look and how you sound and what impression you're giving people. I've tried to let myself let go of those thoughts and just concentrate my mind outwards. Think about the people I'm talking to, asking them questions and follow-up questions and just getting to know them. When I do that I forget to think about myself. Sure, then there's a lull in conversation and I do a little panicky "oh god why did i say that now its quiet and everyone thinks im weird"-thought process, but more often than not some other person starts a conversation or someone plays a song I like and those thoughts are swept away again.
So far I like university. Fair enough, I've not actually been to any real lessons yet. I had a quick introduction lesson on Wednesday but my actual course starts on Monday the 14th, so I've received a whole week to get to know people and my campus and my flat. I've discovered the joy that is going shopping for a weeks worth of groceries and then ending up carrying way too many heavy bags back to the university for a 30 minute walk. I've seen guys my age come into a room wearing a kilt and totally rocking it. I'm really liking the social aspects of university so far.
The other side to being independent is the boring one, which is taking care of yourself. Yeah, I've been pretty good at that in the past but now, as a pile of clothing beside my bed gets higher and higher everyday I realize that there was a reason as to why my parents told me to clean my room. Now that there is no voice telling me to do it, the only thing driving me to keep my room clean is the fact that people might visit me and I don't want them to trip over my dirty socks and bags on the floor. Cooking for myself EVERY DAY is not something I'm used to either. Sure, I can cook and bake but sometimes when you come back to your dorm after a long tiring trip to IKEA you just don't feel like cooking a fancy meal and end up eating a few toaster waffles and a smoothie and hoping it will keep you not-hungry for at least a few hours. My flat has had trouble with the fridge lately, because it hasn't been working for the past few days and no one has come to fix it yet. A few days ago I poured milk into my cereal and it had white bits in it. I had to put my eggs in a glass of water to see if they were still good. Its tough enough paying for my own food, but then something basic that I took for granted like a fridge working doesn't work and half of it goes to waste.
That fridge and I have a problem. First, when I turned it on, it got so cold during the night that when I woke up and wanted to have cereal my milk was slushy and the stuff in the fridge was frozen. Now it doesn't work at all. But really, if my fridge not working is the biggest issue I encounter at university I'll be glad about it.
To my friends and family at home, I'm sorry for not talking to all of you yet. I've been thrown into a whirlwind of everything happening too much and I'm just trying to get a rhythm going. After I settle properly I'll gladly answer any questions you have and send you pictures of my dorm room etc.
I don't think this post had any other point besides less-than-eloquently updating people back home on how I'm doing at university so far. I'm trying to start good habits such as writing a bit in my journal every day, and keeping all my receipts. So far I've made it safely to Edinburgh and back whenever I've used the train to get there. Besides my voice being almost gone all is well.
Thanks for taking the time to read this babbling update!
-Becks
P.S. Jessica, Sarah and Sam: I now realize just how much I got to boss you around and how much you did stuff for me. Now when I want some milk or a cookie or for someone to bring me my laptop charger there is no one to do it but me. I'm looking forward to coming home for Christmas and sitting on the couch while you make tea for me.
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