A brief history of personal shame
Something doesn't feel right about this moment and I cannot seem to figure it out. I was ready to go to bed but I think my thoughts got a bit jumbled and I find my mind unable to concentrate on a single train of thought long enough to let it fade into slumber. My blanket feels wrong and I cannot settle, and so, I'm clinging onto my last hope in achieving some level of concentration and calm. I fear shame. I fear being shamed. I fear being wrong so much that I often gauge other peoples reactions and opinions and then decide on my stance. This doesn't go for political or social views, those are important enough for me to look at how I personally want to support particular causes because of my experiences. I'm talking about things like movies and books and music. I think my fear of being shamed for liking specific things stems from my need of acceptance. I was bullied at school (now's not really the time for that sob story), and though I've never wanted to "