sometimes quiet is violent

Y'all 12-year olds are probably giggling at the word intimacy but really it just means closeness so hah joke's on you this post isn't about sex. Something I've noticed in myself recently (or like, in the last year or so) is that I've very much begun liking to be close to people. This depends HIGHLY on the person and my level of comfort (in a physical sense) with them, but still, I've noticed I really enjoy being close. Even if I'm otherwise really close to you, I might not be fully comfortable hugging and being otherwise close to you and that does not make our friendship any less worthy, it just has a lot to do with my personal comfort and feelings. I rarely hug my best friend and we're still incredibly close on other levels so its not like physical closeness is the only way to have a meaningful friendship or relationship with someone. Anyway, I'm all for casual closeness. Like, if we're sitting on the couch together, I like to be either righ...

Sometimes I feel like nothing about me is constant. I change my hair, my opinions, my clothing, my attitude, my feelings, and nothing stays the same. My mood can swing from happy to frustrated within a few hours and sometimes my bad moods can last for weeks. I know this is "normal teenage behaviour" but really I feel like I'm a lot less constant than all of my friends. I'm supposed to be going to university soon and live practically on my own, and though I'm excited I'm also worried. I was getting dressed for school yesterday and was really excited about my outfit. I wondered what it would be like to be someone who dresses in that style everyday, someone whose entire style is like that. People who know me know that I tend to dress in a way that is very non-constant. Some days I have my pink Hello Kitty backpack and a weird choker that looks like a dog collar. Other days I wear jeans and a simple t-shirt. My shoes have wings on them. I'm not very good at ...