on pretentiousness
I know a lot of people will look at the link on my Facebook page leading to this blog, and this blog, like I'm some special snowflake teenager craving for attention. I certainly don't think of myself as "quirky" and "special" and "not like other girls" because those are harmful ways of thinking, but I can't confirm or deny the craving for attention bit. All I know is that my parents (especially my father) have been telling me for the past three weeks that I'm "good at communication" and writing apparently is one way of doing this.
I know there aren't many who read my (sometimes pointless) Facebook rants about bicycles and gender equality and proper movie going etiquette, so I doubt many of you will be at all interested in what I have to say about anything really. But I'm going to try and write things here anyway, if only to look back at them in a year and laugh at myself and at how little I knew of my future and the world.
Yes, I have had blogs before, and no they aren't active anymore. I had a fashion blog (i know) when I was in the ninth grade, so 3 years ago, and a cooking blog I rarely even used. I can make no promises this blog will be any more active than those, but I intend to use this purely as a place to empty my thoughts so please, if you are offended or want to request my thoughts on anything, do comment and I will try my best to respond in suitable way.
On to the actual topic. While creating this blog (which is quite simple really, I just clicked "create new blog" button), I kept thinking to myself "what will people think of me?" like the opinions of a teenage boy or a friend of my parents' really defined who I am. What if people think I think I'm so smart because I'm writing a blog with all my stupid opinions? What if my friends will be embarrassed of me because no one uses blogger anymore? What if I embarrass myself by not researching enough and being wrong in posts? What if I come across as pretentious? There are a million things that can go wrong. But there are also a lot of things that can go right. So, I'm going to continue sharing these posts on Facebook, and if that makes me embarrassing then so be it.
Pretentiousness, as I see it, is thinking you're better than everyone else. Thinking you're somehow special and different and more important than others. Believe me, I don't think I'm more important than any of you. I'm not that special either. Don't get me wrong, I understand my own qualities and what makes me myself, but I don't have this mentality of striving excessively to be different. I do things because I want to, not because they will make me look cool or like the quirky, e-cigarette toting, J.D. Salinger reading main character in yet another male written high school romance young adult book. I don't want anyone to write a book about me, it would be boring as hell. No, really, no one would be interested in how I have to pack a million snacks for school because of my small stomach, low blood pressure and low blood sugar. No one gives a shit. They might think my Avengers lunchbox is cool, and maybe they will never see past that, to the actually icky yoghurt I have to eat, and the half-broken chocolate bar I managed to sneak out of the pantry in the morning when everyone else was asleep.
There is nothing wrong with loving yourself and flaunting it, and thinking you're special. Because we all are, in the way that we are different from each other. But the mentality of purposefully making different choices to seem more interesting and appealing is not one I intend to follow, and it is one I despise. My point basically is that no, I don't think I'm special, no matter how cool you might think I am. And by saying that I'm not assuming anyone thinks I'm cool, I just don't want some older relative to bombard me with "you are a special child" messages. I get it, you love me and remember me as a child and would like me to wish a happy birthday to my mother. But I'm not quirky. I totally understand I'm allowed to love myself, and I do to a certain extent. I'm allowed to post selfies as much as I want (and I do). But I really hope you don't think I'm pretentious.
Though, it doesn't really matter what you think of me, right? I've just come full circle and I've realized that, I have. Maybe the point was just to get my jumbled up thoughts out. Whatever. Thanks for reading, if you got this far. Constructive criticism is eagerly awaited.
- Becks
I know there aren't many who read my (sometimes pointless) Facebook rants about bicycles and gender equality and proper movie going etiquette, so I doubt many of you will be at all interested in what I have to say about anything really. But I'm going to try and write things here anyway, if only to look back at them in a year and laugh at myself and at how little I knew of my future and the world.
Yes, I have had blogs before, and no they aren't active anymore. I had a fashion blog (i know) when I was in the ninth grade, so 3 years ago, and a cooking blog I rarely even used. I can make no promises this blog will be any more active than those, but I intend to use this purely as a place to empty my thoughts so please, if you are offended or want to request my thoughts on anything, do comment and I will try my best to respond in suitable way.
On to the actual topic. While creating this blog (which is quite simple really, I just clicked "create new blog" button), I kept thinking to myself "what will people think of me?" like the opinions of a teenage boy or a friend of my parents' really defined who I am. What if people think I think I'm so smart because I'm writing a blog with all my stupid opinions? What if my friends will be embarrassed of me because no one uses blogger anymore? What if I embarrass myself by not researching enough and being wrong in posts? What if I come across as pretentious? There are a million things that can go wrong. But there are also a lot of things that can go right. So, I'm going to continue sharing these posts on Facebook, and if that makes me embarrassing then so be it.
Pretentiousness, as I see it, is thinking you're better than everyone else. Thinking you're somehow special and different and more important than others. Believe me, I don't think I'm more important than any of you. I'm not that special either. Don't get me wrong, I understand my own qualities and what makes me myself, but I don't have this mentality of striving excessively to be different. I do things because I want to, not because they will make me look cool or like the quirky, e-cigarette toting, J.D. Salinger reading main character in yet another male written high school romance young adult book. I don't want anyone to write a book about me, it would be boring as hell. No, really, no one would be interested in how I have to pack a million snacks for school because of my small stomach, low blood pressure and low blood sugar. No one gives a shit. They might think my Avengers lunchbox is cool, and maybe they will never see past that, to the actually icky yoghurt I have to eat, and the half-broken chocolate bar I managed to sneak out of the pantry in the morning when everyone else was asleep.
There is nothing wrong with loving yourself and flaunting it, and thinking you're special. Because we all are, in the way that we are different from each other. But the mentality of purposefully making different choices to seem more interesting and appealing is not one I intend to follow, and it is one I despise. My point basically is that no, I don't think I'm special, no matter how cool you might think I am. And by saying that I'm not assuming anyone thinks I'm cool, I just don't want some older relative to bombard me with "you are a special child" messages. I get it, you love me and remember me as a child and would like me to wish a happy birthday to my mother. But I'm not quirky. I totally understand I'm allowed to love myself, and I do to a certain extent. I'm allowed to post selfies as much as I want (and I do). But I really hope you don't think I'm pretentious.
Though, it doesn't really matter what you think of me, right? I've just come full circle and I've realized that, I have. Maybe the point was just to get my jumbled up thoughts out. Whatever. Thanks for reading, if you got this far. Constructive criticism is eagerly awaited.
- Becks
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